How to make a change. Hint: You don’t have to blow up your life.

Self Awareness | January 25, 2022

We often fear change because we think it needs to involve moving to another city, even shaving our head or even changing our core beliefs.

But what if it doesn’t?

One of the core premises of the MettaWorks approach is this: You don’t have to burn everything to the ground, scorched earth, just to change for the better.

In fact, we don’t want you burning things to the ground. Drastic change is like a rubber band. When it gets stretched really fast, it snaps right back to where it started—versus a stretch paced out over time, where the rubber band can take a new form. 

A client, Suni, partnered with her best friend Rebekah to found and lead a tech company. Her role had evolved and changed as the company grew and she wasn’t getting to spend her time doing what she loved. Instead it had become rote and more operational – two things which seriously did not interest her.

“Shit. Do I even still want to do this with her anymore?” she admitted in one of our sessions, reflecting on the years she’d invested so far.

But Suni feels a strong sense of responsibility. “Rebekah is like family.Their personal and professional lives were totally enmeshed. “I could never leave my ‘sister.’ I don’t think I can leave this company.” 

Her conflicted feelings showed on her face. This internal tug-of-war was painful for her.

“What if you don’t have to leave?” I asked. I shared the story of a previous client, who hated being a lawyer but didn’t want to ditch the great pay and prestige it gave her.

The sense of relief on Suni’s face was palpable. 

“Really? I don’t have to blow up my life? I don’t have to betray my best friend… I don’t have to disappoint people…??”

She hadn’t considered anything other than the terrifying “either/or” of staying or going.

“Maybe this job doesn’t fuel you,” I continued. “So, let’s talk about how do we have a conversation with Rebekah about the role you DO want? And what might the timeline look like?”


“How do you want to make a life for yourself outside of this company?” Rebekah eats, breathes, and sleeps the company, so all her socializing is in the name of the business, which she loves—and Suni had felt obligated to do the same.

We talked about what boundaries could be created.

“How else do you want to spend your time? What do you find fuels you?” 

It was such a relief for Suni to know that she didn’t have to give up everything. AND, it gave her the space to think about what she did want. 

She desired to be recognized, well-known, and make millions—all of which she was on track for in her current role, in the business she and Rebekah had started from scratch.

We CAN make choices, and we don’t have to blow everything up. We don’t have to start from zero or burn all the bridges.

And truly, to make sustainable change requires compassion, for ourselves and for anyone else that change involves. 

We CAN find a pathway through. Though it seems on the surface that nothing’s changed, everything is different.
If there are changes that you want to make, but you’ve avoided working with a coach up until now for fear that you’d have to burn everything down… Here at Mettaworks, we take a more compassionate, sustainable approach. To learn more, schedule a complimentary discovery call today.

Rachel Rider
Executive Coach, Leadership Consultant